party pooper.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009.

Things have been really chaotic..

Elder folks have been nagging alot lately..

dont know what has happen to them..

its like a virus spreading in the family..

its getting on my nerves..

Today went to the US Ambassy with Allan..

i have to wait for him outside for so long..

i fell aslp.. hha..

then he came out n started talking to me in the profound english..

he just cant stop blabbering..

so i asked him to shut up..

Yeah, he was excited to go back US..

n i was not even excited at all..

yes, im happy for him that he could go bck to the states..

but being far away from him??

gosh, that will be the hardest part of my life..

After that went dating with allan..

haha..

he was sleepy..

he can slp while eating.. haha

n i accidentally step on his shoes..

he sent me back to compass point..

then my cousin approach me..

gosh!!

Luckyly kak ina n allan get along well..

haha.

i carried naufal..

Allan called kak ina auntie..

haha..

she say am i that old.. i couldnt stop laughing..

then i introduced him to abg eddy..

yeah..

today was overall ouhk..

I MISS YOU ALLAN!!!!!!!!

pooped at 9:01 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2009.

We crawl before we walk.
We learn arithmetic before algebra.
We must fix ourselves before,
we can fix others.
If u want to make a change in your life,
the place to begin is with urself,
not with ur parents, or ur bf,
or ur professor.
All change begins with you.
It's inside out.
Not outside in.

Today i went out with zie
coz allan couldnt make it.
First we went to have our lunch,
then STARBUCKS!!
yummy2!!
had my pay today..
so little..
but nvm, i can still manage..
after that sat at the void deck..
we took many stupid pics..
it was all zie ideas n creativity.
haha..
meet my sis n then both of us went bck home..

it was a really fun moment to spent the day
with my dearest fren..
LOVE YOU ZIE!!

pooped at 11:35 PM

Wednesday, January 21, 2009.

Hey..

yesterday was super fun!!

even though the early part was rather hectic..

This pic was taken under Allan's void deck..

Yesterday, me n my sis fetch mira from school b4 going to allan's house.

inside the bus, we are so quiet coz earlier on me n my sis fight..

she n her bad feelings...

then on the train, my sis ask me to call my darling allan

to ask him to order pizza..

n he was fooling around saying ya i did order oready..

n im eating all alone by myself..

haha.. fag..

n i told him i want my fav beef bacon cheeseburger!!

yummy!!!

After that allan followed us to compasspoint..

allan n mira just cant stop disturbing each other..

allan was tickling mira n mira was pinching allan..

but he said he nvr felt a thing..

mira was not satisfied that he does not feel a thing..

hahaha..

both of them are funny man..

should have taken video of you 2..

haha..

pooped at 2:22 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2009.

yesterday was all ruined up..

but luckily there was abit of fun though

allan didnt wake up despite me waking him up at 11 plus am..

we planned to go escape with my sis coz we got free tickets..

but in the end me n my sis just sit down at the void deck around 2pm..

then we just sit down, bought drinks from 7 eleven n just listen to music..

and at 4pm then my darling called n he got the nerve to ask us to go at that timing..

gosh...

but in the end i ask him to come down compasspoint...

he treat me to burger king n force me to eat the tomato..

gosh... he is damn evil..

then he bought vodka n some hair serum to smoothen up my hair..

so touched man, not bcoz he bought me that..

just that he cared for me from head to toe..

haha...

yeah.. then suddenly the strange thing is,

HE MISSES DANNY!!!

of all ppl danny... haha..

so i ring him up so that allan could talk to him..

n danny came down to compasspoint to meet us..

both of them cnnt meet each other..

like gay lovers..

haha...

then both of them send us both home b4 they head to their own destination.

later at night, talk to mira n my darling allan on the phone conferencing..

it was super fun!! n sorry mira, things get out of hand coz i had a lil too much of the drink.

yeah.. it wasnt ur fault n u r not to blame..

just couldnt control the anger inside of me towards allan..

as there is a slight communication prob..

but dont worry mira..

it has all been solved... =)

darling, no matter what probs that we are having,

I WILL OWAES LOVE YOU!!!

pooped at 1:53 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2009.

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see my smiles?

Do you see the laughter?

Do you see all the happiness?

Or do you see past the front to what really lies beneath?

Do you see the walls I put up to keep them out?

Do you see all the tears that stained my face?

Do you see the fears that I try to hide?

Do you see the scars inside of me?

Those scars that wont let me free

Those scars that run deep inside

Those scars that mar my very soul

Those scars I try so hard to hide

So do you see the truth in me or just the truth I want you to see?

pooped at 10:05 PM

Wednesday, January 14, 2009.

I hide behind a mask
You can't see my face
Looking at first glance
I'm in a happy place
The truth is, that's a lie
But you can't really tellthat in the back of my mind
I think the world should rot in hell
What's the point of living
If we are all going to die
What's the point of being happy
If in the end we're going to cry
But this is something no one sees
This is something no one knows
And yet deep inside of me
This feeling of hatred grows
So even though this mask reveals a happy side of me,

I use the mask as a shield to look at what others can never see.

pooped at 4:02 PM

.

A lifetime of worry and regret,
filled with fears and unfulfilled dreams not met.
Not yet, no safety net, losing life's bet
and nothing to show for it
but tears and my sweat.

Hurtin' back, heart attack.
No one cuttin' me no slack.
Cuz' I'm a woman,

And what if I did dream of being something else.
What to do? Too late now anyway...
this is the card life dealt.

Oh but if I'd kept my eyes closed
just a little while longer.
I would have been stronger.
Yeah, and I would have believed all the dreams
yet to dream and I'd discover that
I could have been so much more...

If I'd only close my eyes a bit longer!

pooped at 2:58 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2009.

Everyday of my life now has become so mundane.
How i wish i could spice it up...
Empty house each day...
Bright in the night time...
Cant even step out of it..
haiz...

I really dont know what i will do without my Allan..
Feel so different if he is not around..
gosh..
what Fifi told me is really true..
my love life is really cursed..
Its either the person leave me or have to go somewhere else..
haiz...
gosh.. life is so difficult man..

AARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pooped at 9:07 PM

Friday, January 9, 2009.

Hey ppl..

Its been SO LONG since i've update this blog...

SOMEBODY has been pestering me to update..

cos she cant wait to know the stories of my life...

Crab, some of the stories i've told you already...

btw my darling allan just told me,

he will be going back to hawaii in 4 weeks time..

haiz..

gonna miss him badly...

but its ouhk... as long as he is happy down there i'll be content enough..

i've bought him this one t-shirt..

he say he look like mat rep..

i told him he does not look like mat rep coz he got fair skin..

but in the end, girls kept looking at him..

gosh..

i think he is too hot..

even mira say bro-in-law that is handsome, cute n hot...

omg!! too much praises for him...

ouhk2..

today went shopping with crab...

ITS FREAKING TIRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stupid crab made me walk here n there..

saying that i can lose weight if i continue on walking...

u ask me to accompany u to go shopping in the end im the one doing the shopping..

make sure the next time u ask me to go shopping with u, u must know what u wanna buy..

i dont wanna go walking around tiring myself..

its not that im lazy crab..

but i got some leg probs right now.. u can see urself its blueblack..

haha..

hey, hopefully i can get a job at deja vu vintage..

n thankz for ur help for asking..

u should know im a shy person rite??

haha..

things at home have been chaotic lately..

a lot of things happend...

gosh...

i wish i could do something to stop this shit...

but if i interfere, i will owaes get the blame for the things i didnt do..

so what the fuck i should care???

pooped at 11:11 PM